what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
