Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
