don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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