This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
