Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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