I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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