all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
