My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
pray to the hookup gods
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
