There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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