Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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