Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
