She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
