found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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