Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
