i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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