Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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