is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
