I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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