He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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