I want to stick my p in your. b.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
