I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
