You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
