Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
