Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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