wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
