I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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