The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
