It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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