Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
