he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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