True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
