Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
