dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
