So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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