Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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