alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
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We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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