No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
