I heard we made out
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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