well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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