And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize