p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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