i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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