batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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