She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
