Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
