Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had to cum in my sink.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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