It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
