I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
