The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
did you just send me my own nude
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
