I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
