I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
