She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
someone threw a dead crab at me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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