sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
