Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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