Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
