Pregnant stripper...not hot.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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