Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He shit in the fireplace
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
