butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
