you guys were way drunker than both of me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
