Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
