I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
