Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
