Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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