Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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