Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
