It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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