im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
