Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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