In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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