i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
