but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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