I can tuck mytits in my pants
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
